Photo by Jeremy Perkins on Unsplash

the reality of mental illness

it's like something that follows you around

with the sound during the day,

it gets washed out,

forgotten almost,

the feeling is still there,

like I said it follows you,

it knows your friends and your favorite spots,

when you are surrounded by new things it has to take it in,

these are the times where I get to breathe,

truly,

then after it's not new it gets comfortable and the numbed out “fine” feeling is back,

but it gets even worse at night,

there is no sound,

the feeling is upfront and cannot be ignored,

this is when it gets scary,

when my wrists turn red and I plot for it all to end.